While caregiving can be our way of showing our love, compassion and gratitude for a loved one, it does have its challenges and realities.
Today, with the cost of retirement communities and long-term care, many family caregivers decide it is best to dedicate themselves to providing care at home for as long as possible. The decision to do so is not taken lightly but the decisions that come after or during can be challenging.
At some point, for most, there will come a time to transition your loved one to a long-term or professional care facility because it is the best option for everyone involved. Caring for a loved one chronic or degenerative disease means that at some point the care they need may be too much for one or a group of caregivers to handle.
Knowing when and how to make this decision is excruciating but crucial to ensuring the well-being of your loved one and yourself.
First, you must determine beforehand at what point will it be too much for you to handle. What is too much?
The reality of being a family caregiver is that at some point it will become too much, and your loved one will require professional medical assistance. For some, the desire to keep a loved one at home is out of compassion but the thought of transitioning them away can bring feelings of guilt.
It’s important to remember that you, one caregiver, even with help, cannot do it all, and some tasks are too much to ask of others to do. Especially when it requires more in-depth care such as bathing and constant monitoring.
It’s important to consider, before moving a loved one in to understand at what point in their journey will be too much for you to take on. Such as,
Incontinence
Forgetting to eat
Forgetting to take medication
Unable to wash or dress
Unable to walk
These are a few examples of typical “limits” most family caregivers may have. When you decide what that limit is, you must stick to it. Do not be selfish with the care of a loved one. Do not keep them in your home because you believe you can do it or feel guilty. Ultimately, if you can afford it, it’s always better to give your loved one the best quality of life possible.
Remember. It’s okay. It’s okay to say enough is enough for them and yourself.
Now Recognize the Signs
Deciding to seek professional care is deeply personal and often emotional. Again, whatever your limit is, it’s okay. Here are some signs that it may be time to consider this transition:
Increasing Care Needs: Your loved one requires round-the-clock supervision or assistance with daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, eating, or medication management.
Declining Health: Chronic medical conditions or cognitive impairments, such as Alzheimer’s or dementia, may progress to the point where specialized care is essential to ensure their comfort and well-being as they near the end of their journey.
Caregiver Burnout: Family caregivers may experience physical and emotional exhaustion, affecting their ability to provide quality care that feels fair and compassionate.
Emotional Toll: Following up on burnout is the pure emotional toll of watching a loved one decline. For many, it is simply too much. For others, it is not how they want to remember their loved one.
Home Safety Concerns: If your loved one’s home environment is no longer safe due to mobility challenges or frequent accidents, and you are unable to move them into your home and feel safe, professional care facilities can offer a more secure setting with level floors and elevators.
Limited Resources: Financial, physical, or emotional limitations may make it difficult to meet your loved one’s growing needs. Thus, it can make sense to use what money there is to move them where someone can. If you feel that the financial burden is more than you can contribute, this is a good decision.
Exploring Your Options
Once you’ve recognized the need for professional care, it’s time to explore the available options available to you in your local area. First, you need to identify what your loved one’s exact needs are so you can better choose the best facility for them.
These may include:
In-Home Care: Professional caregivers provide support in the comfort of your loved one’s home, offering flexibility and familiarity. The downside is that skilled nursing can be expensive for home visits.
Assisted Living: These communities provide a blend of independence and assistance, ideal for individuals who need some help but do not require full-time nursing care. The benefit is that these communities typically offer everything for everyone on the journey, including Memory Care.
Memory Care Units: Designed for individuals with dementia or Alzheimer’s, these units offer specialized environments and programs to enhance quality of life.
Skilled Nursing and Long-term Care Facilities: Also known as nursing homes, these facilities are suited for individuals with significant medical or cognitive needs and need full time nursing care and access to professionals.
Be sure to research carefully and thoroughly. Schedule walk throughs and interviews with staff to really understand the facility’s purpose, their mission, and the kind of life your loved one will have there.
Making the Transition
The process of transitioning to professional care can feel overwhelming, but careful planning can ease the journey:
Initiate Open Conversations: Engage your loved one in discussions about their care preferences and needs. Be patient and empathetic, as this can be a sensitive topic. Put yourself in their shoes and be compassionate to how you might feel when one day some has the same discussion with you. It may not be just one conversation, but several over time, so plan ahead.
Research Facilities: Visit potential care providers, ask questions, and review their credentials, staff-to-patient ratios, and safety protocols. Again, make sure that you thoroughly understand the life and care your loved one may receive at each facility and pick the one that best matches their needs, personality and wishes.
Create a Financial Plan: As soon as possible, determine how to fund professional or long-term care, considering options like long-term care insurance, Medicaid, or personal savings. This should be done at the beginning, so you do not have to worry about it at the last minute.
Prepare for the Move: Help your loved one pack belongings that make their new environment feel like home. Familiar items can provide comfort and reduce anxiety. If they have downsized tremendously to move into your home, be sure to not make them feel as surrounded by what they do have as possible.
Stay Involved: Regular visits and open communication with care staff can ensure your loved one’s needs are met and provide peace of mind. Visiting your loved one is important for everyone involved. Continued socialization and fun can help reduce potential depression.
Addressing Emotional Challenges
Transitioning to professional care can be emotionally challenging for both the caregiver and the care recipient. Feelings of guilt, grief, or uncertainty are common. Remember:
You’re Not Alone: Reach out to support groups, in person, online or on social media, or a counselor to share your experiences and emotions. Journal your feelings and allow yourself to feel them. This is a challenging time, and you must be allowed to work through it for yourself.
Focus on Quality of Life: Professional care can offer opportunities for socialization, activities, and medical attention that may improve your loved one’s overall well-being. This should bring you happiness and some relief that they are getting more than you could have provided them on your own.
Practice Self-Compassion: Acknowledge that seeking professional care is not a failure but a decision rooted in love and responsibility. These facilities have a team of people where you are only one person. You can still visit and enjoy all of the best times with them, creating the lasting memories that matter most.
Conclusion
We all only want the best for our loved ones. Deciding when to transition to professional care is a significant step, that can be wrought with guilt, sadness and other emotions, but can provide immense benefits for both you, the caregiver, and the care recipient.
By setting your own boundaries, recognizing the signs, exploring options, and approaching the transition with empathy and preparation, you can ensure your loved one receives the best possible care for their remaining days, while preserving your own health and well-being. Now you can focus on sharing all of the good times.
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